Sunday, 3 June 2012

Mouth works before brain

I have had this awful problem ever since i was a child and i'm sure i can't be alone?  My mouth often works a tad bit faster than my brain.

I will rewind over twenty odd years to me sitting in a classroom in Milton Keynes, *Big wave to Conniburrow school*  we were having a sex education lesson. I must of been about eight. Seems a bit early looking back on it now but i can't of been much older. Anyway enough waffle. The teacher drew on the blackboard male and female parts *snigger* Sadly we didn't have anything as flash as a whiteboard in those days. Our teacher asked as to name the parts that she pointed to, i am pretty sure that someone put there hand up and mentioned the word "penis" cue sniggers from every child in the class and then i remember thrusting my hand in the air like the eager child i was and said "i know miss, i know what the other one is, it's a virginia miss" Well as it came out of my mouth and the laughs started i just knew i had made a major boo boo. To this day i struggle to ask for Golden Virginia when shopping for my partner. You see, i got it wrong once,so  i could easily end up asking for a golden vagina on the next shopping trip.

Along the same lines, today i learnt what is not acceptable to say in busy a supermarket. "I fancy a joint on Monday"


  1. Hahaha! My mum once went into Boots to get some haemorrhoid cream and went up to the counter and said 'Can I have some haemorrhoids please?' Cue me and the lady pissing ourselves laughing.

    Also, she can't say 'tax disk' she says 'tax dicks'. Hilarious in the post office!!

  2. Pfft, trust me to only now get around to reading this comment (shakes head in shame!) Your post made me laugh out loud. Another thing that isn't acceptable to say...when entering a contest, competition or not email them with the words "please can you enter me" haha :)